so much to do so little time
rash emotions muffling the mind
they make me think crazy things uncouth things irrational things
why am i feeling the way i do towards you
i need an answer soon.
then again,
you only left it as "your decision".
it’s been…. forever, since i last updated this blog. soo much has happened since the last post. so much.
a while ago,
i’ve come to a blessed realization. i have such great friends here. they’re family, like literally. i don’t quite know how to describe it, but, i’ve never really felt this appreciated and cared for in my life by a group of people who i’ve only known for… not even 2 years. irreplaceable.
also, i’ve found myself someone, who has magically made me feel so happy, so cared for, so special. it’s only been 2 months, the 19th June ♥ i still can’t apprehend how he does it.
lately,
reliving the bittersweet memories, to be. despite my enthused anticipation to see u guys at the end of the year, part of me, just doesn’t really want to leave anymore… i would like to stay, and remain this family.
i would like to cruise up to mission bay and have movernpick and fish&chips while we curse at the seagulls that won’t leave our food alone. i would like to continue our saturday morning branch rituals, and hunt about for new cafes to experience. i would like to have our occasional splurges at fancy restaurants. i would like to sit at "out spot" at the viaduct at night, and eat gelato ice-cream, even though it’s winter. i would like to stay with him.
but i won’t.
because the rule goes, never to let anyone jeopardize your studies. and i shall obediently abide to that. like i did once.
anyway,
SOON,
School’s having a runway fashion show this saturday, 25th August 07. it’s fund raising supporting dyslexia, and our bright students from the Young Enterprise Company, Etiquette, have gathered together about 20 models, give or take. it’s funny though, how grace tan and i are the only asian models.
Went to our fitting today at Richochett. I’ve got a mannnnn outfit. LOL. it’s a high waisted pants matched with a loose beige top with rugged type gloves and a thick black cuff, paired off with black heels. i look so man, its disturbingly amusing. hahaha. i’m so gonna get mocked at on saturday, just you wait.
catwalk rehearsals will be tomorrow and friday. looking forward to that. hopefully i’ll get to see what the rest of my outfits are like.
Lisa, Ying, Cliff, Roger and maybe Yoou will be comin to support me! 
yay! i hope i don’t trip and fall. i’d be scarred… for life! :’( the event starts at 7-10pm. But we have to be there by 2pm, i suppose to get ready for makeup and hairdo. After fashion show, we’ll be heading to Cara’s 18th at Brooklyn. She’s rented the bar out for the night. Gonna be so tired by then. Plus, no time to study for the whole of saturday.
i really should be starving myself, like all the other models, starting from… NOW. But i really don’t give a rats arse. i had a king size bar of Whittiker’s macadaemia nut chocolate for breakfast and lunch today. oh, and heaven’s truffle chocolate the day before. lol.
should have some pictures out from the fashion show next week. but don’t think i’ll post them up lol i’m gonna look like sucha freak compared to the other girls. eww.
just pray i don’t trip and fall. pray i don’t trip and fall. prayyy
xoxo
I’m exhausted. But feelin’ pumped YEAH! lol. Even though life’s been pretty hectic, it’s good.
That’s right. It’s all good : )
Damn man what ever happened to all the comments?!
Make me saddie :’(
Stinges…. Yeah you heard me, STINGES! Na jokes ;p
I had a dream, that i was back home in M’sia. Very vivid. Nearly died of a heart-attack to find Yoou sleepin next to me, until of course, i clicked.
I MISS SIEW PAW! And MY ROTI BOM OMGGGG and SATAYS they do such shit ones here. AND YONG TAU FU and that chao kwei tiao place just down the road AND OMG THE YUMMY DIM SUMS WE GET UP IN KL though we get waayyy better ones here but at least back home i don’t needa pay :ppp
Yoou wants me to visit her in Thailand at the end of the year. PHUKETTTTT (they have more hot white boys there than what i get here in Auckland, how gay is that?) I really really really hope i get to goooooo…. prob gettin special treatment etc, seeing how her daddy’s real loaded. i wanna gooo… T.T
I realize i’ve got this thing with food, where i simply cannot stop eating. No, like seriously. Hmmmmmmm. Just a brief run through of today’s meal:
Breakfast:
- toast with tuna
- a mandarin
- a banana
- cereal with milk and nuts
Lunch:
- beef and vege sandwich
- an iced soy chai latte
- hot chips
- movernpick ice-cream
- 2 and a half packets of chocolate maltesers things (which was yuck but i finished it anyways)
- a yogurt
- another mandarin
Dinner:
IM STILL WAITING FOR IT HOMESTAY NOT BACK YET IT’S ALREADY 7.21PM RARRRRRRRHHH!
I have physics on Tuesday! YAY! And if my memory serves me well, i’m quite sure i’ve briefly mentioned before, my physics teacher’s magnificent capability at teaching. It’s so good, that i now require to learn out of a study guide (which i am yet to get, which means i’m pretty much screwed for tomorrow. OH WELL), cause yeah, she’s just so insanely brilliant at sending the message across.
In 2 weeks time, it’s our ball! Which also means, in 2 weeks time, i have my eco assignment and my eng seminar due……………… T.T
Im not exactly liking Yr 13. Uhhhhh. I don’t see why they expect soo much out of us. We are only entering uni next year…. *du du du*
Raph’s 20th was a bit of a let down as well. Uh… Expected more that night. Friendly gathering but, meh… i didn’t want a friendly gathering. I wanted a partayyy. Ended up falling asleep after a few drinks (yeah how great does that sound). And fuck eco and eng in 2 weeks?!? I’ll go have a cry in a while.
I had celery sticks and dip for lunch. Yuck. Seriously, who eats that stuff? I want a break from all this…
when you think you’ve been given a second chance,
when you think you’ve found it,
sometimes,
everyone else disapproves.
at least,
when i think about it, at least one person doesn’t.
me.
YEAAAH-UUHH!
i’ve had as much as i can take for tonight. bio and eco tomorrow. haha this is ridiculous. so much to do so little time. i’ve had my suicidal dosage of black coffee (starbucks style ;p) but somehow not taking effect anymore. maybe i’ve grown immune. well fuck that, fuck school. and all the other shitload of work that comes along with it.
oh yeah, and, get a life? mine’s been pretty fckin busy.
2 weeks of pure fun and zero percent of effort for revision.
OH
MY
GODDDD
I’ve never felt this relaxed in aaageesss! It’s such an unbelievably happy feeling. So tense free, so at ease, so me… I feel, rejuvenated ;p hahaha. Mmmm yes.
So the hols have finally come to an end. Bugger that. Despite knowing how screwed i am for all 3 tests sometime this week, i have to admit, no regrets (AT ALL) for the many outings during the past 2 weeks 
… No regrets.
What qualifies as satisfaction?
The will to gloat when you’ve scored fantastically well in your exam (even more so when you started the night before)
The ability to maintain a balance between work and play
The pride you indulge in excessively once you’re rich and famous
For me,
It’s being able to microwave salmon without blowing it up (SCORE!)
Waking up late
Cruising aimlessly
Lotsa Movernpick and chocolates and Bakers Delight
The keen sense of fulfillment after spending time with special ones
Cause, we all know that there really isn’t much time left
The surge of happiness, knowing that he does too
Hope- I may just prove myself wrong
And that’s a damn good feelin i tell you (:
"May i have a band aid?"
"What for?"
"Cause i scraped my knee when i fell for you"
Satisfaction, to me, is realizing that if you never give things a chance, you never know what may be of it. <3
You can’t help but .loovveee. Easter. I’ve had countless overdoses of chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies and chocolate. I’m so happy right now, regardless of the amount of fatty food i’ve consumed. Omg and i had the best asian food ever last night! 
I’m feelin ecstatic right now. I don’t know for what reason. Or do i?
I have 3 tests due after this very anticipated 2 week "break", and frankly, i can’t be stuffed gettin started on revision. I needa break. And i shall make full use of this one
Goin fishing soon (oh.my.god.like.i.know?). It’s actually quite fun, to be honest. And i’m gonna get Movernpick! after that Whooohoo i’m quite simply feeding the obese glutton within me. Watch out for a new and improved, fatter me! Coming soon. Disgusted.
Anyway, yuusss the holidays. I’ve never been so happy! :D
PLUS
I’m gettin a PINK bunny for my birthday!
:: It’s goin to be a live one.
:: And it’s human size.
:: Walks on 2 feet.
:: And will accompany me to the movies.
Oh i cannot wait. I will take pictures, i promise you all, i promise myself, i promise him.
A close friend once said, "it is only a fine line between Love and Hate"
It is so damn true.
