Indefinable. Me.

and IHAVENOSCHOOLWHOOO! "Study leave", so the school says. Bleh it’s only 1st Term man yeah like i sure need a day off to "study" after 2 weeks of school.

no matter, no one’s complaining.

Togs or Undies? i LOVE this ad, without, any, pervy intentions. Explains a whole lot. URRHHH i can’t get over it lol and i probably never will…

Went to Waiheke Island on Saturday. Weather was fcked up. There is NO SUN when you want some! Bloody Auckland weather. Can’t deny the fact that the scenery was picturesque nonetheless.

never in my entire life have i missed chinese new year, apart from this year… and i must say, IT SUCKS BUMM HERE LIKE HONESTLY, WHERE ARE THE RED PACKETS MAN??

no matter, i’ll be around for next year, i hope.

i’m feeling the pressure already. our last year. our final year before uni. physics alone is hell. omg i can’t believe i just said that. bio’s a bitch. deoxyribonucleic acid and DNA polymerase my bloody ass man like i give a shit bout eukaryotes and prokaryotes. seriously. economic’s never been better oh oh annnnd tennis season! WHOO!

been so exhausted lately. i slept at 9.30 on a friday night. i still cant believe it. just, so much to do, so much to accomplish so much to achieve. so much that’s expected of me. i’m not sure if it’s the workload that’s drowning me, or the pressure. fucks me off. i can’t wait till uni, just, uhh i hate essays i hate assignments i hate graphs i hate physics (now, sadly).

Athletics Day tomorrow. we’re dressing up as firemen (heh), SOME people i know have to dress up as clowns and cheerleaders. nananana na naa :p i still think they should have rethought the "pimps and hoes" theme.

i’ve decided, im gonna go on a food strike, cos im gettin really tired of being bombarded with weight comments. i predict, however, that it’ll last only for a week or two, maybe? lol, i lack self-discipline…

i miss home. and cny and the ang paus. i miss the holidays (: man, am i looking forward to the end of this year.

8.54pm and i still haven’t had dinner yet. Not planning to anyway. Slowly gettin adjusted to the time zone here. Wasn’t much fun before, considering how i used to sleep at 2am and then abruptly (somehow) waking up at 4 the very next morning.

I’ve been thinking, and lol it may seem like no one takes much notice of this blog but hell, i know you people read this (not like it matters anyway); i’ve been thinking and, it seems that as a person, you’re often rudely shoved in the face with problems, and you tell yourself, or at least i tell myself, don’t let it get to you. Push yourself Steph, things work out eventually. Don’t get me wrong, as far as i’m concerned, things always work out, it just needs time. Though i must admit, it’s not always the smoothest journey, or shall i say- desired, really. You push yourself to the very edge of your limit- the fragile frame that’s keeping you collected, sane. You choose to ignore your conscience that reminds you, "it’s alright to listen to the heart sometimes…" and you hang on tightly, praying that your by-then fatigue frame will miraculously continue to hold you together as you wait for the day things start to look brighter for you. We participate in this, this stubborn fight agaisnt that inner voice that’s taunting you to give in to the troubling situation…

But end of the day, you stop to think, like how i’m thinking right now.

Is it worth the fight? To endure such pathetic mental-torture i find it nonsensical, yet ridiculously funny in a way, how we can possibly keep up with all this rubbish day after day, month after month, year after year… A never ending cycle.

I need a break. Question is, when?

I don’t know what to do anymore. And i don’t expect anyone else to either…

The little voice would be pleased, cause as much as i’m fighting to convince myself that i’m absolutely fine without, i hate to admit it,

I need you

Alright, i now know exactly WHERE to go to and WHO to look for when: i am at the state of extreme excruciating boredom, and of course, having impetuous cravings for eye-candy. MinLee Loh i love you for inviting us up to your place. Heh… (:
(omg that whole sentence actually sounds real wrong shits hahahaha)

I shall come visit you again, with hopes of spending a night or two the next time. Min’s new bunch of friends are psycho (:

• I officially bestow Min and Tao with the Couple of the Year Award.

• Hema, being fully decendent of indian blood herself, is Queen Racist towards indian boys.

• Hema also has a strange impulsive fetish for older, waaayyy older balding men and cina boys. ha ha ha…

• I wish my momma had sent me to Taylors instead of… EGGS. Yea wutever shut it.

Oh yea, fuck, Muse on the 25th of Feb  ): ): ):

i know that for a fact, friends move on. and not all of them come back, not all of them want to, not all of them will.

but because of this, you’ll know who’s worthwhile keeping close, and who’s not. may it be being apart for a year, or a decade.

i love to love you guys (: