Indefinable. Me.

Thank you for what you have been trying, what you have done, and what will be.

For one who puts himself through so much, and takes no credit for it, not from his peers, his family, nor me. But himself.

I am proud. Beyond proud, maybe. And I can’t imagine anyone else, put in my position, who wouldn’t think the same.

I know you beat yourself up, but for reasons I fail to apprehend. Maybe I am ignorant, maybe I am selfish. But really, I couldn’t have asked for more.

Let’s make this year work, for you, I, for us
You’ve done me proud.

               
           2 AND A HALF HOURS TO GOOO!

I can barely fuckin wait.

AMEN.

Learn to be less boring? Yeah well fck you too   (:

I think, I’ve decided.

I’ll trust. And when I do, I’ll give it my all. And I won’t let you down, promise.

Now, I’ll just pray you keep to your word. Cause if you don’t, and once I start falling, even you can’t save me.

Year 08’s for us. I must say, I have no regrets with all we’ve been through (: it’s a pretty damn good feeling when you think about it. Please don’t fail me please don’t.

To us ♥

To devote all trust to someone, i don’t know, to some people may seem of a small affair. Easy.

But what happens when that trust is abused? To some people, i guess that too, may be seen as a mere tiny affair. Nothing too significant, to be worried about.

Teach me how to trust.
For I am trying,
trying hard.
For I can’t.

happened once didn’t expect it happening again.

you have no idea how much i’ve been through with these people.
you have no fuckin clue.

but you know what, life’s unfair so suck it up and deal with it.

you give me everything i could ever ask for, and then take it all away for no apparent reason. so sudden.

to see her cry like that, to hear him sound that way.

you know that feeling, when you can’t do a single fuckin thing about it? that pathetic resounding voice that screams at you, there is nothing you can do. you’re fuckin helpless.

fuck you all. this is a fuckin joke, that’s what it is.
you let me experience what real happiness feels like, and then blithely rip it away from me, just like that.

TO GO OUT TONIGHT! PARTAYYY

but, by all means shall i refrain myself from doing so. Fighting temptation ain’t easy, i’ll tell you that, cause, lol by all means am i one to most likely ignore what i just said before.

there’s some gig happenin up K Road 2nite, but no tickets, so no go. i’ll settle for regular margi’s, i actually like that place, despite what people may say. Yes, I will agree to the fact that the chicks there whores but that’s besides the point. The point is, i am girl. So that, in no way influences/affects me, thank god.

I, as a humane sensible being, like all others, appreciate music. I go FOR the music. Now i wonder if Mr. Good-Looking will happen to be there, again, 2nite…

Bought new swimwear. It’s a one-piece this time, and i love it! tehehe! and woopsy doos i really need to go out, if not tonight then tmr. maybe both, god if anyone cares exams are ovaaaa!

Need. Help. Tidying. Room. Up.
Moving bak home next week. And well, my room is a mission. And i don’t know what to do. Dear Santa, i wish for a giant swallowing beast of a vacuum cleaning monster, cause i really don’t know what to do with all my shit. T T

YUM CHAR TMR WITH PATRICK AND LISA AND YOOU mmmmmmmmm yummmm. Weather betta be flippin awesome we’re having Christmas at the Zoo in the evening. damn Auckland weather fucks me off sometimes constant unpredictable showers.

-off to tidy room up. I GET TO DRIVE IN A WEEK’S TIME. YEEEEHARRR

MAN it has been a while since i last visited this place. Been so caught up with everything. Not that ppl comment/bother anymore, i think they just got bored of what i have to whinge about. No matter,

Yesterday was the last day of school. LAST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL COLLEGE LIFE THE END NO MORE FINISHED I’M DONE UNI NEXT YEAR! Fck it was sad. I felt like such a poo-head after that. Poor roger had to put up with my nonsensical mood swings.

On our study leave now and this is simply ridiculous. It’s a saturday and i’m cooped up at home when the sun’s bright and shinning. "COME OUT AND PLAY NIGGA oh wait you can’t you’ve got exams HA SHAME!" I can bet you, the sun’s implying something of the sort. Bullshit. Yayay at least i can ditch calculus soon and get ready for dinner 2nite. Mmmm dinner………….

Calculus is gay by the way. I mean, yeah differentiation and complex numbers (OMFCHRIST COMPLEX NO’S) and all that jazz, i don’t see myself or anyone, really, actually using it. No, i mean like out of all honestly, ?    T_T

Apparently, my fellow SPM crew are sitting for their exams rather soon, or have they already started? I should give them a call soon. HA that’s right bitches! If i’m gonna suffer tru my finals then it’s only fair if you do too! *snickers   :p

> All the best guys :)  i will be seeing my hoes very shortly after. MM I SURE CAN’T WAIT. Lataz!

xo

it’s your birthday today.
i had plans,
we were going to go on a picnic, at that park near the zoo,
and sit with you, to enjoy the view.
to feed the giant seagulls and
little ducks in the ponds.
i was going to make sandwiches, and pasta.
the weather’s just alright today, a little chilly.
a little cloudy.
maybe it was for the better.

it’s saturday tomorrow.
i had plans,
we were going to take the boat out, with a few friends.
we were going to go out fishing tomorrow,
and although i never enjoyed that,
i was still going to,
cause you did.

i had plans, but you didn’t see them.
thank you for the roses, the chocolates, the sorry-surprises,
but i’ve made up my mind.

i had plans, but you didn’t see them.

still vividly fresh in memory, that lean back
those thighs that smile.
the synchronization to the beat that played,
of when he moved, and she followed accordingly
at such distinct proximity.
he was an intriguing being.
he was gorgeous, he really was. 

admittedly,
she enjoys the exogenous thrill, exhilarates her
although temporary, although someone else.
it’s amusing. it’s addictive.
and she knows it’s entering dangerous waters but
it’s the excitement, it’s impulsive.

questions herself,
wrong?

"oops"

work hard, play hard. that’s my core.
so suck it up and quit wingeing bitchas! 

Today, is a Sunday night. Unlike most Sunday nights, i’d probably just have reached home after work. Starbucks is great btw.

This Sunday night is different however.
I have my last paper to prepare for tomorrow, English. (YEYAAA)
This Sunday night was also two nights after.

God bless all of our 5 senses